This is for science.

Instead of resending the updated New Years Drink list again and again, I’m going to use my old Blog as a sign up sheet. Let me know what you want to bring and I’ll put your name next to the bevy of your choice. If you want to bring something NOT on the list, just let me know! (Vodka and Kaluah have been added twice as we have a lot of white russian lovers coming! So two people can sign up for each of them)

Non-Alcoholic (in order of importance)

Ice [Rob]

Coke [Rob]

Cream [Rob]

OJ [Rob]

Cranberry [Justin]

Pineapple

Grapefruit

Lemon juice [Kerri]

Lime [Kerri]

 

 

 

Alcoholic

Vodka 1 [Justin]

Vodka 2 [Glenn]

Kahlua 1 [BG]

Kahlua 2

Beer

Rum [Giovannie]

Crème de menthe [Kate]

Crème de cocoa

Tequilla [Kerri]

Scotch [Lachy]

Amaretto

Peach schnapps

Melon

Butterscotch schnapps

Chambord

Baileys

Grenadine

Blueberry schnapps

Crème de banana

Goldschloggers [John, im assuming]
Crown [Stripes]

It has been quite a while since I’ve smeared my thoughts across this virtual paper and it is time once again to start ignoring those insightful voices in my head telling me to keep my inner thoughts private!

 I have been car shopping for weeks now and run into a few hitches (hmm, I’ve discovered car puns are not as funny as body part puns). The most notable of these setbacks are the two cars I came within a midgets small person’s reach of purchasing. The first was a saturn from a small dealership and an even smaller salesman. This guy reeked of not-quite-successful salesperson, it was written on his sweaty forhead. He reminded me so much of Ol’ Gil from the Simpsons that I would have laughed on sight…if he didn’t make me feel so terribly sorry for him.  

 

 After thorough scrutiny of the car all seemed well, except for some evidence of minor repairs to the drivers door. I was assured that the carfax was clean and so I made Ol’ Dan’s day by shaking hands and putting down a deposit. After almost a week of dealing with banks and insurance companies I had a non-negotiable loan in my hand and car insurance for THAT saturn, and on my way out the door to buy I decided that (thank you for prompting me Ashley) $25 getting my own carfax account might be money well spent. Boy was it ever. I dont know if Dan is aware that 1) “Accident indicator” on a carfax does not mean it is clean and 2) lying to customers makes you a jackass. So I got the deposit back and walked away.

The second and much more recent wacky adventure in car buying came about from a friend of the family who was trying to get rid of their car. It was a nice 2003 Hyundai Elantra, dark blue with the sports package, not a bad car. I was very excited at the inital price and wanted to high tail over there and grab it the hell up. Before I could even get out the door, however, the phone rang. You see the husband apparently spoke out of line, as they tend to do. I was told the the initial price was not even close to what the wife wanted to sell it for. This was understandable as it really would have been the deal of the century. I journeyed to their house to see the car and participate in what I THOUGHT would be a price negotiation. She quoted me a price, I made a counter offer of what I could afford (mind you, it was pretty close), and she said “we’ll see, I’ll let you know tomorrow.” The next day I strutted around thinking that FINALLY I had purchased a good car for a price I can afford, or was at least a few hundred dollars away from closing the deal. But I’m a dummy, so I really should learn not to strut. The following night I did hear…and it was “no.” No talk of counter offers, no hints of renegotiations, just no. I believe the proverbial spikes at the bottom of this pit was not the money but the inter-cunnubial drama forged from the husband making a decision before consulting his wife. I walked, nay ran away from this deal as well. I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from it too!

Its time for CHOOSE YOUR LIFE LESSON! yay!

• If you are a woman proceed to, but do not read beyond Life Lesson # 1
• If you are a man skip right to Life Lesson # 2
• If you are a dork move all the way to Life Lesson # 3

Life Lesson # 1: Husbands should ALWAYS consult with their wives!

Life Lesson # 2: Never, ever get married.

Life Lesson # 3: Don’t strut. You’re making things worse.

Word of the Day:

Brobdingnagian

brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn\, adjective:
Of extraordinary size; gigantic; enormous.

Mr. T is back and he is FABULOUS. Blinged out in his new and slightly more effeminate attire, he is taking the hearts of America's youth by force! As one of the top-listed or "A-Team" American Idols this year, T is enjoying his second shot at stardom. The pressure is on not only for the Idols, but for audience members as well. On Saturday Mr. T told an interviewer from WTFH 99.4 that "[If] you don't vote for me I might break your arm bone, break your leg bone, [heck] I might break your whole body bone." According to witnesses, everyone laughed this off except T who simply scowled at the interviewers until Francis Puttinin, Mr. T's new image consultant, pulled him from the room. Other Idol contestants have so far refused to speak on the subject.

Word of the Day:

Detritus

dih-TRY-tuhs\, noun;
   plural detritus:
   1. Loose material that is worn away from rocks.
   2.  Hence, any fragments separated from the body to which they
   belonged; any product of disintegration; debris.

I think the reason that people get so incredibly frustrated at traffic is because it defies the logic that we try to wrap our lives around. We grow up reading stories about super heroes and villains honing their l33t skillz and using their massive intelligence to foil eachother's plans. I mean, it makes sense, if you want to stop someone from accomplishing something you have to be smart and capable. Traffic, like a giant sweaty sumo wrestler, just sits on the face of this logic. No matter how intelligent and l33t you are your evil plans can be completely foiled by an absolute idiot. In fact, the more incompetent they are, the more likely they are to stop you in your tracks.

I think the principle that applies is that of the least common denominator. We only move as fast as the slowest, stupidest person on the road. Which makes it fun.

Maybe we should get tags that rate our awareness/intelligence/driving abilities which would determine what lane you were allowed in. It would be a big detterent for speeding tickets cause they would bump you down to a slower lane for a while.

 On another thought…I think terrorists have essencially smashed any dreams of flying cars coming into reality any time soon! No building would be safe from morons buzzing around like cracked out Jetsons. Stupid terrorists.

Word of the Day:

Obloquy

OB-luh-kwee\, noun:
   1. Strongly condemnatory or abusive language or utterance.
   2.  The  condition  of disgrace suffered as a result of public
   blame, abuse, or condemnation; ill repute.

There is a lot of crap on the interweb. We are all archeologists in a way, arduously sifting tons and tons of worthless drivel in order to find fragments of something funny or interesting. This will turn into a list of some of those rare and precious jems that make the internet seem like a place you'd actually want to spend time:

Fairly funny video, a bit old. Volume is good to have: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5klXiq1owE&feature=Views&page=1&t=t&f=b

Of course the Perry Bible Fellowship is always a riot (thanks Diccon): http://www.cheston.com/pbf/

This one is awesome. I think of Jay for some reason…hmmm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2kJZOfq7zk&feature=Favorites&page=1&t=t&f=b

This one is even awesomer. Thanks Diccon            http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=515642196227308929

Word of the Day:

Panglossian

pan-GLOSS-ee-uhn\, adjective:
   Excessively or naively optimistic.

It is tourist season here in Orlando. The streets are filled with maps over steering wheels, rented minivans and last second 3-lane-changing decisions. As florida is full of the intellectual cream of the crop, someone who is making important decisions out there decided that it would be a simply fabulous time to begin simultanious major construction projects on all access points to western Orlando/Kissimmee. And by ‘all’ I mean ‘both.’

The sheer stupidity of this decision was driven (ironic word usage alert!) in all too clearly last night when the traffic jam we encountered at midnight redefined the word GRUELING. It was like 500 goats trying to squeeze through doggy door at the same time. At one point a girl in a red mini-hummer (i know, you hate her already, dontcha?) tried to prove Einstein wrong by occupying the same space in the same lane as another car at the same time. They were side by side in the same lane…2 suvs. She was shouting at him that she had to get off for gas and he was shouting the same thing back at her. She ignored him as she apparently had a very important cell phone call she had to continue. Then she must have finally figured out that there were actually CARS in her way and so she drove up onto the sidewalk and over the grass lawn between the road and the gas station, where she happily filled up while still chatting away on her phone. This was the most entertaining aspect of the entire 2.5 hour event, but the smile disappeared from my face quickly when, having filled up her SUV, paid got back in back out into traffic she actually passed me. That’s saying something. When someone next to you can get off, fill a 16 gallon tank of gas and get back on and you have moved less than the length of her car.

 All in good fun I guess. Someone out there is laughing..jerk.

Word of the Day:

Amanuensis  

un-man-yoo-EN-sis\,   noun;  plural  amanuenses,
   \-seez\:
   A person employed to take dictation or to copy manuscripts.
 

 

 

Well, it has been a while since I have given my blog some love.

 

I am working for Universal Orlando’s online ticket store and liking it a lot, but I have also been thinking of starting a small business as a personal trainer.

 This would mostly just occupy my weekends (fri and sat) for more money. Then I could see how much I love it and if I wanted it to be more than just a weekend thing.

So right now I am in the final stages of deciding whether I want to toss out a chunk of change (about a paycheck) to get certified and DO this thing. ::nods head:: I think I am going to do it. I’ll also listen to people’s general input about it too. 

 In other news I have some pictures as an update to the new baby adopted by my cousin Elizabeth and her husband Dave

   

Cute, isnt she?

Word of the Day” 

Halcyon

(HAL-see-uhn) adjective

   1. Peaceful; tranquil.

   2. Carefree; joyful.

   3. Golden; prosperous.

Congrats to my sister Lianne on her new job of Manager, eCare Online Traffic Stimulation for Sprint! She has a nice long list of responsibilities and things she can screw up if she’s not on top of her game! Which is always fun. Im sure she’ll kick some booty at it.

Word of the Day:

   Cloy

KLOY\, transitive verb:
   To   weary  by  excess,  especially  of  sweetness,  richness,
   pleasure, etc.

Oh my goodness! My cousin Elizabeth and her husband Dave adopted an infant last night! I believe she is 3 months old and it was a very sudden process. They have wanted a child for some time now and so she is a bit of a little miracle. I dont know many more details about it but its pretty exciting, especially for my cousins who are now aunts and uncles! I have decided that I am an uncle too, first cousin once removed just doesnt have the same ring to it.

 Uncle Rob.

Word of the Day:

Magniloquent

mag-NIL-uh-kwent\, adjective:
   Lofty or grandiose in speech or expression; using a high-flown
   style of discourse; bombastic.

Alright, all I can say is…wow. Ok pts in pointquest given for best caption of this picture. 

It may take you a few seconds to get over the shock of it at first, but bear with it. You’ll think of something funny if you keep staring at it! (Creator of blog not responsible for any post traumatic stress, seizures, jaw injuries, suicides broken monitors or any other mental or physical repercussions from witnessing the above photo.)

Photo brought to us by Manga (not necessarily by their own volition).

 Word of the day:

Oxymoron

 (ok-see-MOR-on, -mor-) noun, plural oxymora or oxymorons

   A figure of speech in which two contradictory terms appear
   together for emphasis, for example, “deafening silence”.

[From Greek oxymoron, from neuter of oxymoros (sharp dull), from
oxys (sharp) + moros (dull). The word moron comes from the same root.]